Noisy neighbor solutions

upstairs_neighborSometimes I am angry at my deceased Mother for making such a big deal out of being considerate of our neighbors.  We lived in apartment buildings when I was young and Ma always was shushing me or telling me to not make too much noise, “There are people living downstairs.”

I remember buying a plastic bowling set with my allowance.  I couldn’t wait to set up the pins in our long hallway and play to my heart’s content. You guessed it. It was banned by Ma because it would “Disturb the neighbors downstairs.”

The people who live near my apartment apparently were encouraged by their parents to make as much noise as they could and the hell with the neighbors.  Or, they just don’t seem to realize that they are living with others.

Take the woman who lives above me, for instance.  “Quiet time” is supposed to be from 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM but I’m sure my neighbor can’t tell time.  For the past six months between 2 – 3:30 AM she gets up thumps around and crashes and bangs things. I am wide-eyed and sitting straight up in bed wondering if Kim Jong Un has reached the USA with an inter continental ballistic missile.  I describe the noise to one of my friends:  “”It’s like she is taking the corner of a sofa, lifting it 2 feet up off the floor and letting it fall with a boom. I don’t care how sound a sleeper you are, with this level of noise you and your dog will wake up trembling.

I tried to talk to her about it once and I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere because she had her arms crossed across her chest and a snarl on her face.  “I don’t even have my grandson come to visit often because I don’t want him to make too much noise.”  (When she first moved here her grandson was riding his tricycle up and down the second-floor hallway screaming with loud laughter.) I didn’t really mind because it was in the middle of the day and I was awake, but I wondered about the sick and elderly who live here.

I won’t even waste my breath telling the property manager because “I’m the only one complaining.”  I guess there is a set number of complaints about the same issue before something is done about disturbances.  I’d like to know the secret formula.

I decided to do something about it myself. After she is done crashing and banging I wait awhile until it’s all quiet upstairs and then I go into the bathroom and turn on my overhead fan that clatters and makes a loud whir.  I have also discovered a way to make the pipes in the bathroom wall clang and loudly vibrate, I do it by slowly turning the faucet to the left until it hits the “sweet spot,” last, but not least, I push my tv close to the wall and turn the volume all the way up to 100, making sure the base shakes the wall (we are both living on end apartments so my loud TV and clanging pipes will only affect her.)

It’s only taken me three months but my neighbor upstairs is quiet at night.  Who needs a property manager after all?





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